The course of true love
by Irate Italian
Summary: Alfred doesn't get Arthur. No matter how much the older boy hurts him, why can't Alfred get him off his mind? Through the years his infatuation only seems to get bigger no matter what Alfred tells himself. Human AU.
1. Chapter 1

"Okay! Let me set the scene!" Alfred stood in front of the group of children and clapped his hands together to gain their attention. A few giggled at his loud and theatrical manner as they settled onto the floor to stare up at him.

Across the room Arthur was stood smirking slightly at the birthday boy. Alfred felt his heart do a funny little squeeze and he drew himself up a bit more as he started to tell his story.

"So it's a dark night all creepy with loadsa fog. This woman is walking home all by herself in the dark..." Alfred kept going with frequent glances up at Arthur to make sure the older boy was still listening and paying him attention.

Arthur came to his party because they were such great friends, even though Arthur was quite a few years older than him, and when Alfred had rushed up with the invite a couple of weeks ago Arthur had smiled down at him and happily accepted. Now all the adults had left the children to play but for some reason Arthur had remained by the door. Alfred thought he was just shy and didn't want to ask to play with the other kids. He forced himself to turn his attention down to his audience of friends as he got to the important part.

"And just as the bad guys think they got away scot-free the Hero comes swooping in and saves the day!" he added dramatic hand gestures with a huge grin. When he looked back at Arthur expecting the other boy to be smiling with satisfaction and pride (and maybe even a little awe) at Alfred's story, his face fell and his hero pose froze.

Arthur wasn't even watching him anymore. His attention had been diverted to another boy about Arthur's own age. Francis, the oldest son of one of Alfred's mum's friend. Instead of listening to Alfred, Arthur was talking to the other boy with a slight frown which dissolved into a grin at something the French boy said. He laughed and leant back against the wall facing Francis.

Alfred's audience meanwhile had grown bored of sitting still and all clambered to their feet at the abrupt end of the story. squealing they ran in all directions calling to Alfred trying to get his attention. Alfred ignored them and decided to go to Arthur's rescue. It was obvious to Alfred that Arthur was not happy with his current company and was just waiting to be saved by Alfred, after all he had been frowning unhappily a second ago.

"Hey Arthur!" he grinned as he reached the two much taller boys.

"Hey Al." Arthur barely spared him a glance as he patted Alfred's head absently. "So what if she said that, I really don't think I'm going to go." he continued his conversation with Francis.

Alfred pouted slightly at the easy way he had been ignored.

"Arthuuuur." he whined.

"Hang on a sec Alfred." he again barely looked down at Alfred, "Are you going to go?"

"Of course I am copain," Francis glanced quickly down at the seven year old before grinning, "There are going to be girls at this party and I think Gil's bringing a little something that always goes down well with girls at parties. No way am I gonna miss that."

Alfred stared up at them wondering what they were talking about. Was Arthur going to someone elses birthday party today? He wouldn't abandon Alfred today of all days right?

Arthur rolled his eyes at Francis. "Whatever. I'm still not going. What Alfred!" this last part was angrily directed down at the boy who was now tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to gain his attention again.

"Arthur were you listening earlier? Coz when I looked over you didn't seem to be paying attention." he glared up at Francis who raised a mildly amused eyebrow at the bold child.

"Yes, yes. It was very good Al. Hey why don't you go play with your friends hey?" Arthur tried to push him in the direction of the screaming children but it didn't seem to have any affect. No matter what was going on around him Alfred never seemed to quite read the hints and social cues.

"I am playing with my friend. Hey Arthur lets go over there. You can't come." he added to Francis moodily. He tugged once more on Arthur's sleeve trying to forcibly drag him away.

Arthur sighed and allowed himself to be dragged over to the pile of toys Alfred had indicated. Francis followed along behind to Alfred's annoyance.

They played for a while, Arthur felt quite embarrassed to be playing with such a young child's toys with his fourteen year old peer watching with a teasing glint in his eye. After a while Alfred got up and rushed off to the other side of the room for something.

"Remind me why you forced me to come to a seven year old's birthday party on a perfectly sunny Saturday afternoon when I could have been just about anywhere else?" Francis asked with only a half joking sigh.

"Oh come on it's not that bad. Free food right?" Arthur sighed as well as he chucked the toy he was examining back down on the pile. "My mum told me I had to come and help out. It's not like I wanted to be stuck watching over a bunch of little kids on my weekend either you know. If I have to suffer through this tedious party then I'm making you suffer too." they grinned at each other and continued to banter blessedly unaware that behind them a birthday boy had come to a halt in his excited run across the room just behind them.

Alfred clutched his newest comic to his chest as he felt a horrible feeling burn through him. It started in his stomach and spread throughout his body until even his cheeks and ears burned with it. Alfred couldn't understand all the words they used, the way Arthur had said 'tedious' though made Alfred want to cry. So Arthur didn't want to be here at all? Unable to really think anymore, Alfred dropped his comic and ran out the room and up the stairs to his bedroom.

"This is all stupid Francis' fault!" he shouted into his pillow before the tears broke free and tumbled from his eyes into the pillow where they soaked into the fabric. A while later a quiet knock broke through his muffled sobs. He stopped briefly in response to the familiar coded rap he and Arthur had come up with years ago. His anger resurfaced quickly pushing his surprise away.

"Go away!" he yelled into his pillow.

"Alfred?" the door opened slowly to reveal Arthur's worried face.

"Go away!" he screamed at his friend throwing his pillow at Arthur's face. He was so upset his face was a bright red and his eyes were sore from his tears as he glared at Arthur.

"What's wrong mate?" Arthur asked confused about Alfred's behaviour.

"You're not my 'mate'! I hate you!" Alfred jumped off his bed and ran at Arthur who was too slow to stop the boy flying into him and proceeding to beat him with tiny fists.

"Ow, hey Alfie, stop it! Come on what's wrong?" Arthur tried unsuccessfully to untangle himself from Alfred's angry punches.

"I. Hate. You." each yell was punctuated with a fist to the chest.

Arthur winced in pain and pulled away. Alfred stood watching him, gasping for breath a tiny glare masking the hurt he felt at the betrayal of his best friend.

Arthur, completely nonplussed took a step back just as their Mum's came running in.

"Alfred, what's wrong!" his mother fussed running to envelope her son in a hug.

"Make him go. I hate him mommy." Alfred sobbed into her arms. His mother looked back at Arthur who shrugged in confusion.

"I found him crying and he started yelling. I don't get it."

The women shared a look and Arthur's mum looped her arms around her son.

"Come on, I think it's best if we leave Artie. Francis is waiting downstairs for us, let's go home." she nodded goodby to her friend as she lead him from the room.

In his mother's arms Alfred sobbed again as fresh tears fell down his cheeks.

No one knew what had happened that afternoon. Alfred never told anyone, he didn't want to admit the hurt and embarrassment he had felt when his little heart had been broken by his closest friend. After that day he rarely saw Arthur Kirkland and when he did, Alfred did his best to walk on by and ignore the older boy.

**New story, human AU mostly from Alfred's perspective probably. It kind of seems childishly written at the moment, hopefully this reflects Alfred's age? Whatever.**

**Oh, not really to do with this story at all, I just wanted to thank everyone who read and reviewed or favourited or followed my first story. It made me so happy for those responses. Yeah. So umm, thanks again and bye. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Four years later found Alfred in his final year in primary school. He sat in the classroom hardly able to keep his attention on anything. It was the middle of July, the last day of school in fact, and the hot summer sun seemed to have fried everyone's brains a little including the teacher. She had given up trying to get them to focus on much during the last week of term. After all what was the point? All their exams were over and there was no point teaching when they would all separate after the summer to go to their chosen secondary schools, so instead most of the last week had been full of games and fun activities and subtle ways of saying goodbye for possibly the last time to children they had known for most of their short lives. Those goodbyes grew less subtle as the week progressed and this morning many people had burst into tears and random hugging sessions.

Alfred was only a little sad to say goodbye to his school and the teachers, at the moment he was only focused on moving on to bigger things and that meant going to his chosen secondary school and not being stuck with the small kids stigma that hung over primary school kids. Next summer it would be a totally different story.

Next to him, his best friend Matthew sat chomping on the sweet he had been given as part of a good luck present from their teacher. Alfred had already eaten his and he found himself eyeing Matthew's one enviously.

"Give me a bit." he demanded.

"Nope. This is mine." Matthew replied without looking over, determinedly keeping his eyes on his desk to avoid the pleading look on Alfred's face.

Realising he was getting nowhere, Alfred huffed and lay his head on his arms to glare at the front of the classroom.

For a little while he amused himself watching the teacher's student helper- quite a few of them had come and gone in the past few weeks, something about work shadows but Alfred wasn't sure what they were- as he went from student to student helping and chatting with that days activity; solving maths problems to colour in a picture. In the entire week this particular helper had been here, not once had he come to chat to Alfred.

Alfred snorted in self deprecation. And whose fault was it exactly that the teenager hadn't wanted anything to do with him? Arthur had walked into the classroom earlier in the week with a smile that had fallen when he saw Alfred's glare from the back of the classroom and since then neither had made eye contact or even spoken.

Arthur was stood only a row in front and a few desks to the left bent over to talk to one of the girls as she struggled with one of the questions. Arthur had smiled down at her happily, in a way Alfred hadn't seen him smile in a long time (when he glimpsed him occasionally in the street). Alfred's frown deepened and his mood plummeted. Why did Arthur never seem happy unless he was with someone else? Couldn't he just be happy with Alfred, and if not then why was someone else able to make him smile?

He sat there, remembering the days following his seventh birthday.

* * *

"Hey Alfie," Arthur was unnaturally shy the next day when he went to see Alfred.

Alfred looked up from the floor where he was sat watching cartoons. His mother had smiled gently down at Arthur and indicated he should go into the sitting room before she bustled of to give them some privacy. When she was gone Alfred glared and turned his attention back to the screen. He glanced back at Arthur out of the corner of his eyes and saw him take a few uncertain steps closer before making a conscious decision to just walk in and sit beside Alfred.

"What're we watching?" he asked with a small smile.

Alfred didn't answer. Arthur gave him a split second to respond and when he didn't Arthur continued the conversation on his own.

"Oh, I've seen this one. It was on the other week." again he paused waiting for Alfred's input which didn't come.

"I thought you said you saw this one too?"

Silence. This time Arthur didn't try to break it. Instead he sat awkwardly next to Alfred and noticed how Alfred had turned himself just slightly enough to have his back to Arthur. He felt hurt about that. Just what had he done to make Alfred this angry with him?

They sat like that until the show finished. When the credits had started to roll Arthur waited expectantly for Alfred to turn to him, to say something. When Alfred just continued to give him the silent treatment Arthur slowly stood up.

"Well, um I guess I should just go?" he asked hopeful that Alfred would break and forgive him.

Arthur sighed and started to walk to the door. Just as he reached it Alfred spoke.

"Why did you come today?" he asked monotonously. Arthur took a few steps back into the room.

"I wanted to see you! You're my 'bestest friend' remember!" he smiled using the words Alfred had said when he first met Arthur.

"No I'm not." he replied still not facing Arthur.

"Of course you are!"

"Stop lying!" Alfred yelled whipping around to finally look at Arthur. His face was red and Arthur was shocked to see tears brimming in his eyes.

"Alfie..."

"I heard you! When you were talking to Francis." he hiccupped. Arthur just looked confused.

"What? Francis... did he do something to you? Is that why you're upset?"

Alfred gave an annoyed shouted huff. "No, it was you! You said you were stuck with looking after me. That you were suffering in my party."

Arthur's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. His expression was a mix of surprise, mortification and apology.

"Alfie, you heard that? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it I swear!"

Alfred was now crying messily on the carpet. Arthur ran forward and dropped to his knees beside him and pulled Alfred against his chest in a hug. He gently hushed him and stroked his back. Alfred sobbed again and gripped Arthur's arms whilst he buried his face in the older boy's shirt. Arthur rocked him slightly trying to calm him.

"Why'd you say it if you didn't mean it?" Alfred had asked pulling back to look into Arthur's face.

Arthur had blushed ever so slightly, a pale pink dusting his cheeks. "Well I wanted to... I suppose you could say... Francis was there and..." he was struggling to think of what to say. Alfred latched onto the name.

"So it was Francis' fault!" he exclaimed at directing his anger to the other boy. Arthur seemed to sense this and let out a sigh of relief.

"Yes, blame Francis." he smiled down at the little kid in his arms. He would agree to anything if it stopped Alfred being mad at him, even if he did feel a bit bad about blaming his school mate.

Alfred still wasn't sure he completely forgave Arthur but it was a start.

After that Alfred was pulled into a spinning hug by Arthur as they said goodbye. Alfred's mother stood smiling by the door watching them say goodbye. As she escorted Arthur out of the house she beamed at him.

"Thank goodness you two made up! Thanks again for looking after him for me." she pulled him into a hug of her own. Arthur stepped back and smiled up at her.

"I'm glad too. But Mrs. Jones, you don't have to thank me, you know I love coming to play with Alfred." his eyes flicked to the door leading to the sitting room. He knew Alfred was probably listening and he didn't want to make the same mistake twice by making it sound like he only came to see Alfred because his mother asked Arthur to look after him.

On the other side of the door Alfred had smiled happily hearing Arthur say that. It really was just Francis who made Arthur say those things. Arthur was his friend.

The next day was a school day. Arthur had already been going to a secondary school for a few years and was always home later than Alfred whose school ended earlier and was closer to their homes.

After school that day Alfred's mother took him to visit Arthur's mum. The two women went out to talk and look at the garden leaving Alfred to amuse himself indoors waiting for Arthur to come home.

Arthur's mum had warned him to keep it down as Arthur's younger brother Peter was most likely asleep in his cot so Alfred had decided to investigate. As he walked into the darkened room he heard the quiet gurgles of an awake baby. He approached the cot and smiled down at the boy. He had the same bushy eyebrows that all of Arthur's family had and his mothers mousey blonde hair. He started pulling faces to entertain the tot and grinned when Peter laughed in response.

Downstairs Arthur had just come through the front door followed by Francis. The french boy had forgotten his front door key and his mother was not back yet from work so Arthur had invited him around his house until he could get back into his own.

The two teenagers threw their bags onto the floor and decided to raid the kitchen for food. Francis had turned his nose up at the scones Arthur had offered him, freshly baked by his mother earlier that day, but accepted some of the store-bought snacks they kept in the cupboard.

"Where's your mother?" Francis asked.

"I dunno, hang on. MUM!" he yelled making Francis wince. When no reply came Arthur shrugged, "Probably visiting Mrs. Jones."

Upstairs Alfred had frozen at the shout then relaxed with a grin. Arthur was home!

Once their food was sorted they headed upstairs to Arthur's room continuing their conversation loudly enough that Alfred could hear from behind Peter's door where he had stopped his mad dash to see Arthur as soon as he heard the French accent.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me, did you sort out that thing with that kid?" Francis asked with a grin.

"Yeah, turns out he heard us at his party." Francis must have looked confused because Arthur continued, "You know when we called him a kid and complained about being stuck there. Well it upset him."

"What did you say to get him to forgive you?"

"Told him I hadn't meant it." Alfred stood stock still when they reached the landing right outside of where he was hiding. "kids' believe anything I guess." Arthur laughed. "I mean come on, how were we supposed to actually enjoy being there surrounded by little annoying kids who wouldn't bloody shut up all day?"

Peter had started to grumble when Alfred had turned away after losing his entertainment. When he could still see Alfred in the room he began to whimper. When Alfred still didn't turn back even after Arthur and Francis had gone into Arthur's room and closed the door behind them Peter began to cry. Before Alfred could react he heard Arthur's footsteps and Peter's door flew open illuminating the room and Alfred.

"Peter, what's wrong now..." Arthur trailed off as he noticed Alfred stood there, a few tears making tracks down his cheeks. "Alfred?" Arthur paled. "How long have you been here?"

Alfred finally seemed to snap out of it. He took a step back and Arthur swore.

"Alfred, wait I..." Arthur stepped towards him leaving a big enough gap for Alfred to dash past him and through the now clear doorway.

As he ran for the stairs he saw Francis' surprised face from Arthur's bed where he was sat and heard Arthur swear again behind him. He ran out the house and into his own back garden. As he sat there the tears were no longer coming out. Alfred didn't feel angry, he realised. Just empty. He had never really forgiven Arthur, the wounds were still fresh and Alfred was old enough to be able to hold a grudge. Now those wounds had been re-opened but Alfred was determined not to let Arthur even try to fix them again. He would keep them like that, Arthur didn't deserve another chance.

* * *

Alfred shook his head to get rid of the memories. Those brief encounters had been the last time he and Arthur had real contact. Other than that only looks had been exchanged. And yet it still pained Alfred to see Arthur with other people, especially Francis who hadn't stopped hanging around Arthur.

At the end of the day the bell rang and all the year sixes jumped up and shouted. Some cried, others cheered and some like Matthew and Alfred ran to form a huge swarm to chatter freely now the summer had officially started. Alfred wasn't paying attention but he did notice Arthur smile slightly at the noise before leaving the classroom ahead of everyone else when the teacher dismissed him.

Alfred and Matthew walked home together. Just them and no adults because they were old enough now and their parents recognised their maturity(that and they live a two-minute walk from the school grounds). As they got to the front gates of the school Alfred happened to glance up and see Francis further down the road. He was grinning happily at someone Alfred couldn't see through the crowd.

Without warning Alfred grabbed Matthews wrist and dragged him into the crowd of parents and children. They were jostled on all sides and some of the mothers frowned down at them and told them off but Alfred ignored them all. He had a suspicion he wanted confirmed (preferably denied though).

When they finally pushed through to the front of the crowd Francis was walking away but he was now joined by someone else. A boy about the same height with a messy head of blonde hair. Francis' arm was slung over Arthur's shoulder and from where he stood a little way back on the pavement Alfred could only make out laughter and wordless shouts of annoyance from the two teenagers ahead.

Alfred's mood once again darkened as he began to storm after them tugging Matthew along in his wake.  
The two teenagers rounded the corner and Alfred hurried after them dropping Matthews hand in the process. Alfred left him behind to catch up to the older boys. He didn't know why, he just felt a compulsion to follow them.

When Alfred caught up and turned the corner Arthur and Francis weren't in sight. Alfred stopped confused. He hadn't been that far behind and their homes were a lot farther down the road. It wasn't possible for them to have made it inside before Alfred had reached the corner. Behind him Matthew came running up beside him, slightly out of breath and gripping his side.

Matthew had badgered him with questions that Alfred decided not to answer. Instead he walked and pondered where the teenagers could have possibly gone as Matthew lectured him about suddenly running off. When the two young boys said goodbye at Alfred's front door, Alfred stayed to watch Matthew walk on and turned back to look at the corner of the road. His eyes were drawn to a path that lead into the cluster of trees behind the houses. He frowned at it. That was the only explanation for the sudden disappearance but it didn't explain anything. Why on earth would they wander off back there?

Alfred let himself into his house with one last glance at the woodland path.

**A/N A whole lot of nothing happened... sorry. BTW this is set in England, so if you are confused on terminology feel free to ask, I will do my best to answer but you may know it all already and I'm just being weird...  
**


	3. Chapter 3

That summer Alfred learned something he would never forget. Boys liked girls. Or they were supposed to.

At first Alfred didn't understand the whispers of the neighbours. They gossiped all around him: over fences, down phone lines or in the street. Everywhere Alfred looked there appeared to be at least two adults standing together talking. He caught snatches of the conversation but it wasn't until a certain blondes name was mentioned that Alfred started to pay attention to the talk going up and down their street.

"Poor Elizabeth, how embarrassing that after raising three boys, she turned out one like Arthur."

The mention of his aunt Lizzy had initially got Alfred's attention but it was after hearing Arthur's name that Alfred began to actively search out the rumours.

The group of women had moved on to a new topic already as Alfred had only heard the tail end of the conversation and no matter how hard he hoped they would continue or revisit their original item of gossip, they merely turned their discussion to taxes and other dull adult concerns. Sighing, Alfred ran past them and back up the street to his home. He tore into the kitchen breathless and stopped dead in front of the table. Sitting opposite his mother was Aunt Lizzy.

Alfred smiled up at her as he discreetly looked her up and down searching for signs of anger or upset he expected after the snippet he had heard but there was nothing. Sure, she looked a little tired but then with a family of five, Aunt Lizzy normally looked tired. Here she sat, cheerful as usual nursing a cup of tea and chatting with his mother just like they always had done.

"Hiya!" Alfred chirped as he forced himself to move again and raced around the table to get at the biscuit cupboard. He wasn't hungry but he had to make it seem like he had a reason to practically run right into the guest when he had suddenly charged home.

His mother frowned down at him from the table. "Alfred, don't run in the house, I've told you a million times already!" she thankfully ignored him rummaging through the cupboards for a snack and turned back to Arthur's mother.

"Are you sure you're okay Liz?" she asked. Alfred froze for a split second at the concerned tone before continuing his fake raid to avoid drawing attention to his eavesdropping.

"Yes, I'm fine! I don't know what everyone's making a fuss about!" her forced nervous laugh gave her away. Unseen by Alfred, with his back still towards them, Liz nodded her head at Alfred with the clear request to talk privately in her eyes. Alfred's mother nodded understandingly. This was perhaps not the right conversation for young ears to hear.

"Alfie dear, just how much food are you planning to scoff before dinner?" Alfred stopped his noisy scrabbling to face his mother. In his arms was barely anything, just an apple and small packet of biscuits his mom used to pack in his lunch box for school. His mother frowned when she saw Alfred shift guiltily under her gaze. "Out." she commanded pointing at the door.

Alfred slunk across the kitchen planning to sit at the stairs further down the hall so he could still hear them when his mother dashed those hopes as well. "Close the door behind you Alfred." she ordered.

Shoulders hunched, Alfred obediently closed the door behind him as he left the kitchen and wasted no time planting himself on his knees with his ear to the crack between the wood and the floor. For a while all that could be heard were mumbles covered by Alfred's restless and not quite silent rustles as he positioned himself. When he was finally still enough to hear their conversation he had to strain to make out what they were saying.

"-know what to do! When he first told me I tried to understand. I hoped it was a phase." Liz sounded like she was at her wits end, her voice slightly hysterical.

"What changed then?" the calming response from his mother had no effect.

"I walked in on them-"

"Not doing... you know what?" Alfred mother asked shocked.

"God no! I don't even want to go there! They were... kissing." a heavy sigh.

"I don't know what to say Liz. Arthur was always... different. Not bad different!" she added hastily. "Just different. He was always so quiet and withdrawn."

"Yes and then he made friends with that boy. I thought it would help draw him out of his shell not turn him into this!" Alfred could hear sniffles followed by a nose being blown.

Outside the door Alfred frowned slightly. What had happened to Arthur? Where they talking about when he started wearing all those weird clothes with the piercings? He remembered his mom saying Arthur had become a punk. No, that couldn't be it. That happened quite a few years ago now, this sounded more recent. And who was this friend they were talking about?

The women in the kitchen had returned to talking and Alfred hastily returned his attention to the crack in the door.

"Perhaps you're right and he'll grow out of it? I know Francis is quite a ladies man, maybe they really are just messing around." his mother comforted.

Francis? What had _he_ done now? Why did everything about Arthur seem to boil down to Francis in the end? After all what was so special about the French twit anyway! Alfred fumed silently on his side of the door. Whatever had happened with Arthur seemed to be, once again, Francis' fault.

Alfred began to think back to the start of the summer holiday almost three weeks ago. Francis and Arthur had disappeared together presumably into the woods behind their homes. Could that be part of what Arthur had done wrong? Alfred had been told not to wander off down there by himself so it was likely Arthur had been told the same thing but had disobeyed his mother and gone anyway and now Liz was upset because Arthur had turned into a delinquent under Francis' influence. And the kissing (Alfred pulled a face at the thought) was about some girl Francis had introduced him to who was also a disrespectful teenager who wasn't good enough for Arthur. That must be it!

He dragged himself back to the conversation in the kitchen.

"I really hope so. No one will forget this though. What am I supposed to do? He's ruined his life by doing this!" another slightly hysterical cry from Liz.

"Aw come on dear, that's not true. It's not the be all and end all." a slight pause followed this until Alfred's mother continued in a thoughtful voice, "I've heard it's becoming more common now actually. He'll be fine."

"You can't imagine how it felt, walking in on him with his tongue down some other boy's throat." they continued talking but at that last remark, Alfred stopped paying attention.

His tongue... down a boy's throat? Alfred couldn't think of anything other than those words circling his mind. Could boys do that with each other? He had never seen it, never even heard of it. Boys kissed girls, as gross as that was, and when they were older they got married and had a family just like his parents and Arthur's own parents and everyone's parents. That's what always happened, and yet here he sat, hearing that his Arthur was doing it wrong. No wonder all the adults were talking about it, did Arthur not realise he was doing it wrong? Did no one explain it to him?

Alfred pulled himself numbly to his feet and wandered off in the general direction of his back garden still deep in thought. He was sure it was only girls who kissed boys but Arthur wasn't stupid. He must know this so why was he purposefully doing it the wrong way? Did Arthur know something Alfred didn't? He scowled absently as he headed out into the bright summer sunshine again.

"What's with the look grumpy?" a voice startled him out of his thoughts and he looked up into green eyes.

Arthur sat in the middle of his garden with his little brother Peter toddling around him laughing and picking at the grass. Arthur watched Alfred step out of the house and freeze as he caught sight of the other boy. Arthur's smile dropped a little at Alfred's reaction. It was almost the same reaction he got from everybody recently only the hatred in Alfred's gaze was nothing new to Arthur and so only stabbed at his heart a little bit.

Alfred glared at Arthur for another second before he dropped it and plodded over to sit a few feet away from him, keeping his eyes strictly on Peter as he played.

"I'm not grumpy, I was thinking." Alfred muttered.

"Oh?" he could hear a slightly sarcastic laugh in Arthur's voice and when he glanced over at him Alfred saw the small smile on Arthur's face, "Don't hurt yourself."

Alfred huffed and glared again.

"What got you thinking so hard?" Arthur decided to try to be civil.

For a while Alfred remained silent and Arthur began to think he wasn't going to respond at all.

"You kissed a boy." he said finally.

Arthur's eyes grew comically huge and his mouth dropped open.

"H-how did you... who told you that?" he asked shocked.

"It's true though isn't it?" Alfred accused. Arthur glanced at his brother as if worried the little boy could understand or cared about what they were talking about.

"I, well that is, you see Alfred, uh..." Arthur floundered to find something to say. Alfred interrupted when nothing helpful or understandable came out of the older boy's mouth for a good few minutes.

"Why? I thought boys kissed _girls_?" he sounded so confused that Arthur stopped trying to think up an excuse.

"They do. And they can kiss boys too if that's what they want."

"Is that what you want?" Alfred finally looked him in the eyes without tearing his gaze away.

Arthur sighed. Trying to explain being gay to a ten-year old was no fun, but at some level Arthur was glad he was talking to Alfred. The boy had barely acknowledged his existence for the past three years so a prolonged conversation was some achievement in Arthur's eyes.

"Yes, I wanted it."

Alfred was thoughtful for a second.

"Why is aunt Liz so upset about it then?" a painful expression crossed Arthur's face.

"Al, everyone is different, you understand that don't you?" Alfred nodded. "And different things make different people happy right?" he nodded again. "So does that make it wrong for me to like liquorice when you like chocolate?" Alfred shook his head. "See some people think it is wrong for me to like liquorice when they like chocolate. It makes them uncomfortable to think I like something they don't understand. Do you get what I'm saying?" Alfred shook his head.

"Liquorice tastes horrible. _I_ don't get why you like it." Arthur smiled a little.

"It doesn't really have anything to do with sweets Al. What I mean is I like boys in the way most boys like girls. Some people don't understand that and think it's wrong. My mum tried to understand me but I think it's still too difficult for her and everyone gossiping about it doesn't help." Arthur looked sad for a second which surprised Alfred. The Arthur Alfred knew hardly ever looked so sad, he was usually _angry_ but rarely did he look this upset.

"I don't think it's wrong." it slipped out before Alfred could really process it but he realised afterwards that he had truly meant it.

Arthur smiled slightly. "Thanks."

Alfred had a rare moment of insight where he saw that Arthur didn't want to talk about it anymore so he didn't push it. They sat in the garden just watching Peter play for almost an hour before Arthur's mum appeared at the back door to call them in.

After they had left Alfred sat with his mother in the back garden as the afternoon turned to evening. They talked about inane topics and laughed together. It wasn't until the sun had mostly disappeared beyond the horizon and their dinner plates were empty that Alfred brought up Arthur.

"Mom, why are you guys so upset about Arthur?" he asked innocently.

"Alfred were you by any chance listening at the door this afternoon?" he mother asked sharply.

"No! I uh, heard about it from some women down the road that Aunt Liz was upset with him and I talked to Arthur about it today." Alfred silently congratulated himself on his quick thinking.

His mother sighed sadly and fidgeted with her hands in her lap.

"Arthur is special honey." she paused and Alfred nodded. "He's not like you or his brothers because he, well he likes other boys." she glanced up at her son who quickly reassured her with a nod, "This upset his mother a little because it's not... common. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love him any less! She just needs to adjust ok? We all do, but it's ok, it doesn't change anything about him, he's still a good boy so don't you worry." she smiled down at Alfred so he smiled back.

Later as he got down from the table to wash up for bed his mother called him back again. She was biting her lip with a worried expression before turning her attention back towards her son.

"Alfie, how close are you with Arthur?" she asked. Alfred shrugged not understanding.

"Not very. We don't hang out anymore." his mother nodded, relief clear on her face. "Why?" he asked confused.

"No reason! It's just, I don't want you following his example just because he's your friend. You don't need to dress like he does and do the kind of things he does just because you know him ok?"

Alfred laughed not understanding what his mother was really worried about.

"I won't! I don't think those clothes would look good on me and those earings look painful." he pulled a face which his mother smiled at.

"Good boy. Just make sure you don't end up copying him ok?" she smiled, "Actually Alfie, maybe it would be better if you stayed with friends your own age yeah? Just stop hanging around Arthur. You two need to have separate friendship groups you understand?"

Alfred frowned slightly but nodded. He didn't play with Arthur anymore anyway so he didn't understand his mother's concern.

She smiled at him once more before ruffling his hair and sending him off to get ready for bed. Alfred didn't understand adults sometimes. Not in the way they treated Arthur and not in the way they acted sometimes but what could he do about it?

It wasn't until he was about to drift off did it hit Alfred. Who exactly had Arthur been kissing anyway?

**New chapter... yay.**

**I would like to say thanks to the reviewer of the previous chapter, it meant a lot!**


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning dawned and for once Alfred wasn't in his bed. He hadn't been able to sleep peacefully all night and when the first signs of light had hit his curtains, Alfred had finally climbed out of bed and headed down stairs.

No one else in the house was awake since it was only five in the morning but Alfred knew his dad would be getting up shortly to get ready for work. Alfred had gotten used to rarely seeing his dad as he worked in a city building almost an hours commute away and always came back after Alfred had fallen asleep. He sometimes saw him on weekends if there wasn't too much work to be done but even then it was more like meeting a distant relative rather than a father figure. Only seeing his dad once in a while made Alfred sad and secretly he was afraid that one day his dad wouldn't bother coming home but he constantly reminded himself that it was better than the fights that happened when his dad worked closer to home and was around more often.

The staircase creaked and moaned as he slowly made his way down them. Halfway down, one step gave a particularly loud creak before seeming to split in half beneath his feet with a loud crack sound. Alfred froze in terror griping the railing but nothing happened. Laughing slightly to prove he wasn't at all scared even if his heart was beating twice as fast as it usually did, Alfred continued down the rest of the stairs.

Glancing around when he reached the bottom of the stairs in the weird shadowy blue light of the early morning, Alfred shivered. It was cold when he stood just in his pajamas on the bare wood floor but Alfred hadn't thought to get dressed or even to pull on some socks and a jumper over his thin top. Quickly, Alfred half ran down the hall to get to the carpeted sitting room to relieve his poor frozen toes a little bit. The door creaked slightly as it was pushed open and the noise echoed loudly in the silence of the rest of the house. The room faced away from the rising sun leaving it with no natural light and plunging it into almost complete darkness. Alfred began to panic as he waited for his eyes to adjust enough to dispel his fear of the darkest corners and allow him to make his way into the room to find the light switch. When he could finally determine there was nothing lurking in the dark he stepped in and flicked the switch, behind him the door creaked unexpectedly again as it closed and he jumped, his heart hammering in his chest. Why was his house so freaky in the dark?

He ran over to the sofa and threw himself onto it, trying to calm himself down. Every little sound he heard in the house seemed to echo and amplify into a ghostly rattle and moan or become footsteps overhead and directly behind him. Alfred whimpered slightly and wished the sun would come up faster or at least his parents would wake up and come downstairs.

Plucking up his courage Alfred got up and walked over to the television set to turn it on. He kept the volume low enough not to cause a disturbance but loud enough to distract him from his imagination.

He kept it on the last channel his parents had watched and huddled back up on the sofa, keeping his knees close to his chest, he rested his head on his knees and stared off into space and let his mind drift. Unfortunately it wasn't long until it drifted to Arthur.

Alfred frowned slightly as he thought about their conversation in his garden the day before. Arthur had said he liked boys in a way that made him want to kiss them. Alfred just couldn't work out why people would want to kiss in the first place. Of course he had been told all that stuff about 'when a man loves a woman' to make a family in that really uncomfortable one-off lesson earlier in the year but Alfred just hadn't understood. When he looked at girls his age they just seemed really annoying. There were exceptions but most of them clustered in groups and giggled when he tried to talk to them, it was like Alfred and the other boys were missing something. Why did they giggle? And why was Alfred supposed to want to kiss them and do that other gross stuff?

The adults had ended the lesson with assurances that they would learn more about it when they grew up and to not worry since people grow up at different rates but it was mostly ignored in favour of the childish games and teasing that ensued.

Now Alfred sat in the dim lighting and thought about all the things they hadn't been told. Arthur was proof that not everything was as the teachers had told them. What if Alfred was like Arthur, not because he liked boys but what if he was different because he didn't like the idea of kissing anyone? All the boys in his class had blushed slightly and then acted rough when asked in the playground about girls they liked. All except Alfred. Even Matthew had stuttered an embarrassed "Leave off" when he was asked.

"Rallies for recognition and equal rights opportunities took to the streets yesterday afternoon in the annual gay pride parade. The usually peaceful festival was interrupted by marches calling out for discrimination against gay, lesbian and transgender people in the workplace to be more heavily supervised" Alfred looked up as the newsreader broke through his contemplation.

Gay? Alfred had heard that word before, it was something kids used on the playground to insult people who were acting stupid or suggesting ridiculous ideas. Why was it on the news?

The report flicked to a shot of men and women dressed up in rainbow colours. Alfred's eyes grew wide. Men in skirts! Men wearing makeup! Women and men holding hands with other women and men. The shot changed once again to show a quick flash of two men hugging and smiling happily at each other. Many of the assembled people were carrying posters reading 'Gay Pride!" in bright colours. The news reader was speaking again but Alfred was too shocked by the images to pay proper attention until it flashed to two men stood side by side clasping hands and speaking directly into the camera.

"We came here today to help raise awareness about the discrimination against gays in our community. We've been together for three years, we're in a committed relationship but we still aren't acknowledged as a true couple, we still feel like we have to hide from family and friends when we aren't doing anything other than being ourselves. It's scary especially when you're young and we want to help people realise there's nothing wrong with this and being gay is perfectly acceptable. We want to give young men and women the courage to be themselves." he smiled at the man beside him and to Alfred's half horrified half intrigued surprise, kissed him quickly and gently on the lips.

The channel then went on to some other story and left Alfred sitting there still shocked. That was being gay? Then Arthur was... _gay_?

Alfred looked at the time displayed in the corner of the screen '5:27' way too early for any sane person to be up. Alfred got off the sofa and ran back upstairs to his room, completely mindless of the noise he was making and the creepy atmosphere that had earlier terrified him. When he reached his room he hurriedly got dressed, pulling on the clothes he had left scattered over the floor yesterday before rushing back downstairs. From upstairs he could vaguely hear the sound of his mother moaning as she dragged herself up. He pulled his trainers on and dashed out the front door just as she made it to the top of the stairs and called out his name sleepily.

He heard the door slam behind him as he took off for Arthur's house but then he stopped and turned around to face that gap in the trees by the corner of their road. Not really understanding why, he began to run towards it full pelt. His confused mother opened the door and reflexively looked up the road in the opposite direction her son had just run just as he rounded the corner into the wooded area. Sighing she shrugged when she couldn't see him and went back in to make herself a cup of coffee.

Alfred ran down the path as it changed from an ordinary house lined road to an open area filled with trees. He ran past the little tire swing someone's dad had installed many years back that everyone played with when they were young, he ran past the tree he had fallen out of when he was eight and had broken his arm, he ran past the part of the stream Matthew had fallen into just last week and he kept running until he got to the part that crossed into 'Arthur territory'. It was the dividing line behind the houses that crossed into the area Alfred had played in with Arthur growing up and the area Alfred had not returned to since his seventh birthday. He stopped and looked around, it was the almost exactly the same after all these years.

His frantic ran slowed to a walk as he made his way through this part of the wood. He smiled as he remembered the day Arthur had sworn blind he had seen a unicorn watching them from the bushes, Alfred trailed his hands lightly over the top of the bush that Arthur had run to and spent such a long time rifling through to prove his point whilst Alfred had laughed at his crazy 'big brother'. Alfred smiled a little sadly at the memory.

When he had gone past the bush he came to the little circle in the ground that Arthur had convinced him had been made by fairies for one of their midnight dances. Alfred had scoffed, saying that of course fairies would have girly dances. Arthur had frowned slightly before a mischievous glint had entered his eyes. He had grabbed Alfred's wrist in his bigger hand and pulled him into the circle and wrapped his other hand around Alfred's waist and began to twirl him around in a strange imitation at dancing. They had fallen over each others feet onto the floor laughing breathlessly. Now Alfred could tell the circle had been made by a small fire that had killed the surrounding plants. Since it was still there he supposed Arthur had taken to using it for the same purposes when he came out here.

Distantly he could hear someone talking. He stopped for a second to listen to the voice and raced forward again when he recognised Arthur's laughter. He ran around the few trees in his way until he stood in front of a surprised Arthur and blurted out, "Arthur you're gay!" as if he was supplying an answer to a question Arthur had left him to puzzle over.

There was silence for a moment until laughter broke out from behind Alfred who jumped and spun around at the unexpected noise. Francis was sat on a log just behind him. He had been hidden by the bottom branches of a tree when Alfred had crashed through to the clearing and Alfred had no idea that he had been sitting there. He glared at the older boy before turning back to Arthur who, Alfred was pleased to see, was also glaring at the loud French boy.

"Oh belt up!" He snapped at his friend before directing his attention back to Alfred, "I beg your pardon?"

"I-it was on the news, that's what you are. He was kissing that man and you said you kissed a guy so, so that would mean you're the same and they were interviewing him about uh, gay pride and he said he wanted to help you be proud I think or something like that." he dragged in a breath after his babbled explanation.

Arthur sat staring at him with wide eyes as Francis snorted from behind.

"Glad to know everyone seems to know about us." Francis muttered a little peevishly. Alfred turned on him.

"What are you talking about? I wasn't talking to _you_!" he bit out angrily. Francis just raised an eyebrow.

"No, but you were talking _about_ me correct?"

Alfred cocked his head, still glaring, in confusion at Francis.

"Francis..." Arthur warned but the only reply he got was an eye roll from his friend.

"What? You are fine with everyone knowing you're 'gay'," he sneered the last word at Alfred, "but you are ashamed to tell them that it is myself you are going out with?" he looked innocently back up at Arthur as Alfred rounded on him.

"Arthur, what does he mean?" he demanded.

Alfred felt funny. He hated Francis, thought he hated Arthur (but considering what he was doing right now he wasn't too sure) and the thought of the two of them together just as friends made Alfred's chest burn with a mix of humiliation and anger but to be told the possibility of Arthur and... not in that way, he couldn't stand it.

For a long time Arthur didn't answer. He refused to even look at Alfred, instead he focused on glaring at Francis over his head. Finally he dragged his eyes down to meet Alfred's.

"We - Francis and I - well we're, I suppose you could say, dating?" Arthur sounded unsure of himself and wary of upsetting Alfred at the same time.

The fiery pit burning in his chest didn't explode. It didn't overflow into an uncontrollable rage like Alfred had thought. Instead as he continued to meet Arthur's green gaze it froze. Alfred suddenly went numb from the cold inside of him, he didn't speak and he didn't move. Behind him Alfred vaguely realised Francis was talking again, was bragging but he was ignored by both Alfred and Arthur who didn't seem to know what to do now that he had spoken Alfred's fear.

The first to make a move was Arthur. He jumped to his feet his eyes wide with panic and reached out to Alfred.

"Alfie wait," he called and broke the spell.

Alfred fled, he ran past Arthur further into the woods and away from his home. He crashed through overgrown bushes, their sharp branches catching in his clothes and digging into his skin. He kept going till he couldn't breathe anymore and staggered to a stop against a tree trunk. He didn't hear the footsteps running up behind him or notice the sound of another person panting to catch their breath.

"Why is it always bloody Francis." he choked out still gripping the tree for support.

"Alfie."

Alfred turned around startled and quickly brought up his arm to wipe away the tears the cool morning had brought to his eyes as he had run. Arthur stood right behind him looking determined.

"What do you want?" Alfred tried to sound strong but the waver in his voice gave him away.

"I'm not letting you run away like last time." Arthur took a step forward with his arms outstretched. "Alfie, please!"

Alfred looked him up and down.

"Keep away from me." the sharp edge caught even Alfred by surprise. "You're a disgusting fag."

"Al..." Arthur stood there still with his arms reaching for him, silently begging Alfred to go back to him. "You said it didn't matter, you said it wasn't wrong."

Alfred took a step towards Arthur, he felt so lost.

"Why Francis?" he asked as he too another step forward.

Arthur looked close to tears. "He get's me. He doesn't judge me like the others."

"I didn't judge you." another step. He was almost within the circle of arms now.

Arthur was just as lost as Alfred. He was reaching for the innocence of his childhood that he could still see in the young and confused boy. He closed his arms around the shorter child in a hug. "I know. I'm sorry." he didn't really understand what he was apologising for he just always seemed to hurt Alfred somehow.

"Arthur, do you love him?" Alfred asked with his face buried in Arthur's arm.

"... I don't know." Alfred nodded in his arms.

Arthur lead him back out of the woods that morning and they didn't meet another person, Francis had bolted already after Arthur abandoned him. As soon as they cleared the last trees however, Alfred heard a shout.

"He's here I've found him."

Both he and Arthur looked up in surprise to see a cluster of adults running towards them, Alfred's mother was in the front with wild eyes. Off to the side Francis stood watching the entire thing.

"Mom!" he called as she reached him.

Suddenly he was tugged away from Arthur's hold and was shoved behind his mother.

"What the hell did you do to him?" she demanded glaring at Arthur.

Arthur looked back at her with a slight frown.

"Nothing, I was in the woods when he suddenly came tearing through." he started but was cut off.

"Then why is he crying. Did you do something to him?" she turned around and pulled Alfred to face her, "Alfred did he, _hurt_ you?"

Alfred had blinked up at her not understanding the question. Why would she think Arthur had hurt him?

"That's enough!" an angry voice yelled from the back of the group. Aunty Liz shoved her way through the crowd to stand between Arthur and Alfred's mother. "Just what are you insinuating Georgie!" she glared.

"Liz, I know he's your son and I understand that, but I won't have someone like _him_ around my impressionable eleven year old!" a few adults behind Alfred mumbled agreements and nodded.

"What's going on?" Alfred asked. Nobody answered him. He looked up to Arthur.

Arthur stood beside his mother and glared at the group. He green eyes sparked in anger and his fists were clenched at his side.

"Oh so now you think I'm going to infect your kids? I thought I was supposed to be some anomaly caused by bad parenting, but now I'm a disease?" he spat.

"Georgie, this is ridiculous! You said yourself Alfred ran outside of his own free will, what could Arthur have to do with it?" Arthur's mother joined in addressing Alfred's mom.

"You tell me. What was _he_," she pointed at Arthur, "doing out this early in the first place, why was he hiding in the woods and why did my Alfie run right to him?"

"Is it a crime to be an early riser?" Arthur demanded. "And I was with Francis anyway when Alfred found us."

"So now you're both ganging up on my boy?"

"What? No! Why the hell do you think that?" Arthur was getting more upset.

Alfred stared up at Arthur from behind his mother as he shook while glaring at the adults who stood against him. Alfred was probably the only one who saw the tremors that raced down Arthur's arms. He was probably the only one - apart from Aunt Liz who couldn't see him as she was too busy glaring down Alfred's mother - who knew Arthur got more defensive and seemed more angry when he was on the verge of losing his cool and crying. Alfred looked at his mother and then looked at Arthur. His stomach twisted in knots when he saw how close Arthur was to exploding.

"Mom, he didn't hurt me." Alfred tugged on her arm when she stopped him walking out of her protective embrace to face her. "Neither did Francis." he added as an afterthought.

When he spoke up both Arthur and Aunt Liz smiled tightly down at him. His mother on the other hand huffed and acted as if she hadn't heard him.

"What do you expect me to think when you and that boy drag unsuspecting young boys into the woods where nobody knows where they are and can't see them?" she continued addressing Arthur.

Alfred felt sick. He may be young but he had heard enough scary stories about strangers to begin to understand what his mother was getting at. He forcefully pulled himself out of her grasp and looked up at her in shock.

"Mom, this is _Arthur_ we're talking about! He didn't do anything. I didn't even know he and Francis were in there." he spoke slowly, trying to make sure his mother listened and actually heard him this time.

His mother stopped and looked down at him with a strange expression. Alfred couldn't decide what it was but it passed a second later and she turned back to Liz.

"Liz I have no quarrel with you but I do not want _him_ around my boy. I'm sorry but Alfred is normal and I don't want him picking up strange ideas from your son."

There was a long silence between the two groups following that proclamation. Many of the parents behind Alfred's mother made quite sounds of agreement again and nodded as one. Arthur seemed to shrink in on himself and stared at the ground. Aunt Liz and Alfred's mom didn't break eye contact.

Finally with a huff Liz stepped back to put her arm around Arthur.

"If you have a problem with my son then I have a serious problem with _that_." she declared and Arthur looked up at her amazed and thankful.

She began to lead him through the crowd and back to their home. When they passed Alfred Arthur didn't make eye contact and just returned to staring at the ground. Alfred made to walk back with them to check Arthur was okay but his mother grabbed his shoulder and tugged him against her with an iron grip he couldn't break.

Halfway down the road Francis fell into step with them and took Arthur's hand. Arthur yanked his hand back straight away. Francis had glanced back at the other adults at the end of the road, looked right at Alfred with a scowl and continued walking by Arthur's side. Alfred wished he could run up and take Arthur's hand as well but his mother's fingernails dug into his shoulder as if she was rooting him permanently at her side.

There was a general muttering which grew into a discussion around Alfred but he paid them no attention. He continued to stare after Arthur until his mother began to pull him away to their house. By this time the sun was fully up and had lit up all the street but his mother closed the door on it and for a second Alfred was plunged into darkness in his darker hallway until he got used to the dimmer light.

After that he spent an hour being lectured by his mother on the importance of telling her where he was going and who he was going to be with. It then lead to another discussion about no longer hanging around Arthur and not following his example.

"You mustn't let him pressure you into anything do you understand me Alfred? Just because he's older does not mean he is right."

Up until this point Alfred had remained quiet and listened patiently but at this he snapped and glared at her.

"Is this because he's _gay_?" he growled angrily.

His mother blinked, caught off guard by the tone and the question.

"What-"

"Because yesterday you said that didn't make him a bad person so why have you changed your mind?" he cut across her.

She frowned back at him.

"Arthur may or may not be a good person as an individual, I wouldn't know, but I am not risking what is good for you over a boy I thought I knew. After all I believed he was a normal child until very recently and now he's come out like this? How sure can I be now how he thinks?"

"Arthur is normal." Alfred defended as he began to walk away, back up to his room. His mother laughed harshly at him.

"No he isn't. He most certainly is not normal and you will have nothing more to do with him. This is not a request Alfred." she yelled up the stairs at him.

It wasn't a request and Alfred had no choice in the matter. Even though he occasionally caught glimpses of Arthur from his window Alfred was no longer allowed out unsupervised and his mother made sure he never so much as said hello to Arthur in passing.

Alfred didn't see or speak to Arthur for the rest of the summer. He began to doubt if he ever would with the persistance his mother was showing and for some reason, even though Alfred reminded himself he didn't like Arthur in the first place, this made his chest feel like it was being compressed and his stomach do nauseating flips.

**Hallo :) This is the longest chapter I have ever written! It's not even that long -.- but I hope you enjoy it...**

**Thanks for the comments last chapter they made my day so THANK YOU!**


	5. Chapter 5

Alfred's first year of secondary school was uneventful during school hours. Everything was as it should be, he learnt that he was now one of the small year sevens, bound by tradition to be sneered at in the corridors for his large rucksack and generally for just being an 'annoying year seven'. He also learnt to get a padlock for his locker after all his books kept mysteriously disappearing from his locker between lessons in the first week. Alfred had merely sighed the fifth time he came back to his form room at lunch to find his science book was no longer at the top of his pile of textbooks where he had left it earlier that day. After all, his troubles in school faded as soon as he got off the bus in the afternoon.

Two weeks after the odd confrontation outside of their homes, the adults still seemed to seethe with anger. Alfred no longer walked into his house to find Aunt Liz chatting away with his mom or keeping her company in the garden as Peter toddled around happily. It was increasingly often that Alfred walked in on his mother on the phone muttering to someone on the other side before cutting off when she noticed Alfred standing there or else she would just be sitting in her chair in the kitchen, staring out at the garden with a sad look on her face.

Alfred never saw Arthur anymore. At first, in the few days before school started, Alfred would wait on his front lawn for Arthur to pass by on his way home from the woods. At first Francis had been with him but then he had stopped passing by and Alfred could only assume Arthur had told him to go away. When Arthur passed by his house Alfred would call out to him and Arthur would turn with a smile on his face that dropped after a few steps. Alfred had sat and watched as Arthur merely waved a hand in greeting before practically running away from Alfred after a quick glance back. Upset, Alfred had gotten up to head back inside and just caught sight of his mother closing the curtain again.

Arthur soon stopped even looking at Alfred as he passed by the house.

This then lead to blazing arguments with his mother. Alfred stormed back inside and began yelling at her for chasing Arthur away when he hadn't even done anything and she often returned his shouts with insults to Arthur screeched at the top of her voice accompanied by threats for Alfred to stay away from him. Alfred may have been angry at his mother but he wasn't brave enough to go against her when she got that angry and decided not to chase after Arthur as he wished he could. He reasoned with himself that he would see Arthur at school and would be able to chat with him on the bus where there would be no annoying adults looking down on them with disgust because of who Arthur was. Except Arthur stopped going to school.

The first day Alfred assumed Arthur had left earlier to get the first bus and resolved to get up even earlier to be sure he would see which bus he took to school. He waited from the first bus to the last one that would get him to school on time. He watched all the kids he had gone to primary school with get on their buses and leave him behind and still Arthur didn't turn up. As the last bus turned the corner on the street Alfred heard heavy footfalls behind him and turned to see Francis running towards the stop out of breath and red in the face.

"Where's Arthur?" Alfred demanded, knowing grudgingly that Francis would most likely know more about his 'boyfriend's' whereabouts than he did.

Francis had looked down his nose haughtily at Alfred before replying with, "He has decided not to come to school today and for the foreseeable future." before sniffily getting on the bus that had just pulled up beside them.

Alfred was beginning to regret ever getting up early that morning in the holidays.

* * *

His home life seemed to be falling apart around him. At first it was the small things like no Aunt Lizzy at the kitchen table and his mother spending more of her time crying down the phone line but over the first few weeks of school things began to escalate.

He came home one day to find bags at his front door. He could hear yelling coming from the kitchen and as he listened he realised the inhuman screeching was in fact his mother wailing into the silence. He carefully shut the door behind him and crept over to the open door without announcing his arrival. He peeked through the crack to see his mother once again clutching the phone to her ear; her eyes were puffy and red and there were obvious tear tracks down her cheeks. He saw all this before she turned her back to him and resumed yelling at the receiver.

"You _bastard_! The last of it's at the front door but I don't even wanna see your face when you come for it." she paused to listen to the reply. "No! Alfie stays with me, I don't care." another pause and in the silence Alfred could make out a heavy sigh from the other end of the line before the speaker began talking again unintelligibly from where Alfred stood in the doorway. "He's no brother to Alfie, he's just your bastard son and I don't ever want them to see each other again, d'you hear me? If I catch him anywhere near Alfie I won't be responsible for my actions." she slammed the phone down.

Alfred stood frozen in a mix of shock and confusion. Brother? His brother? He didn't have a brother though and... bastard son? The words began to filter through his mind and Alfred began to shake. Last year he and Mattie had looked up bad words in the dictionary for fun and he had remembered having to ask his mom about one of the definitions because he hadn't understood what wedlock had meant. Bastard son... '_your bastard son_' she had said... that meant that his dad had another kid?

He backed away from the door quickly making as little sound as possible, not that it mattered; his mom was too busy crying to pay him any mind. He didn't head for his room, that would be the first place his mother would go to look for him and he didn't want to stay around the house anyway, everything was too closed in and Alfred wanted out.

He ran from his house back into the street and towards his old school. He wanted familiarity right now and that old school building had stood in the same part of his town for as long as he could remember, longer than he had been alive, and it was sure to be there for many years to come. That's what Alfred wanted right then, stability.

When he made it to the school gates though, they were locked. Alfred grabbed at the chains that kept them closed off during after school hours and shook them as if he was hoping they would magically fall away at his insistence. Of course they didn't and Alfred was left clinging to the metal and feeling anger soak through him, building until it burst out as a scream of fury at the fence.

"A-Alfred?" a hesitating and worried voice pulled him away from the fence to look into his eyes. "Al, what's wrong?" it gasped out as it pulled him into a warm and crushing hug.

"Aunty," Alfred sobbed back, clutching at his Aunt Liz's shoulders as he hugged her back.

"What are you doing out here poppet?" she asked as she stroked his back, dropping her shopping bags onto the floor beside them.

"Mom, she was on the phone again, an' she was upset." he sniffled for a bit trying to stop the tears that threatened to run from his eyes. Liz waited patiently whilst he calmed himself down. "An' it was Dad she was talking to..." he couldn't carry on.

Aunt Liz straightened up but kept one arm around his shoulders as she began leading him back towards their street. It surprised Alfred to see that, short as he was, he was quickly gaining on Arthur's mother's height.

"Hush now, I think I know where this is going. Come with me poppet." she murmured gently but Alfred began to struggle in her grip.

"No! I don't wanna go home!" he yelled, still fighting to be free of her embrace.

"Calm Alfred!" she raised her voice to get his attention and at the sharp tone of her voice Alfred did stop struggling, "I wasn't going to take you home. Why don't you have some tea with me hmm? I have a cake I baked this morning." she offered.

Alfred nodded and followed her to her front door. She finally removed her arm to get her keys out of her pocket to unlock the door leaving Alfred to awkwardly stand by her side shifting from foot to foot. Whilst she fumbled with the lock he glanced up and down the road hoping no one would pay any attention to the fact that he was being lead into Arthur's home and tell on him to his mother.

When the door opened Alfred was lead down the uncluttered hallway and into the kitchen he hadn't set foot in for a few years. The old wooden table that had sat proudly in the centre of the room was no longer there, in fact there was no table at all nor any chairs. Aunt Liz had shrugged apologetically.

"We'll have to eat in the sitting room, you can wait for me there if you like. I'll be there in a minute." she smiled slightly.

Alfred toe-ed off his shoes and left them in the kitchen on the shoe rack that now only held three pairs shoes; a small pair presumably for Peter's tiny feet, a larger pair of trainers Alfred had seen Arthur wearing the other week and the pair Liz had just taken off her own feet and tucked away there. Alfred thought it odd that there were so few shoes until he realised Arthur's older brothers had all left home and were either living on their own or in university must be why it seemed so bare in here as well, he last came to this house when it had housed another three teenage boys, Arthur's oldest brother had moved out a year before Alfred's parents had even moved into the street.

Alfred made his way into the sitting room towards the back of the house. It was still bright outside and the sunlight filtered into the room through the bare windows. Alfred frowned when he noticed the curtains had been taken down until he saw them pushed off to the side of the room in a cardboard box. His mother did that sometimes, took them down to give them a wash and remove all the dust that built up. Ignoring the little nagging feeling in his chest, Alfred went and sat on the sofa.

Soon afterwards his Aunt Liz joined him carrying a tray with two cups and two plates with fat slices of sponge cake on each one. He smiled up at her, cheered slightly by the prospect of home cooked cakes. He loved Liz's cooking, it was Arthur's he had learnt to be wary of and that was the hard way after eating one of Arthur's very first batches of scones when he was younger. Arthur's skills hadn't improved much after that, they almost always came out burnt.

"So Alfie, do you want to tell me from the beginning?" Liz asked gently as she sipped her tea. Alfred lowered his cup (thankfully of juice rather than tea, he hated any hot drink that wasn't hot chocolate).

As Alfred recounted the changes he had seen in his mother over the past few weeks Aunt Liz nodded sympathetically and occasionally reached out to pat his hand as a sign of encouragement and reassurance. When he got to the conversation he had overheard that day she pulled a tissue out of her pocket and silently handed it to him. He hadn't even realised he was crying until that moment and he turned away thankfully to wipe his face.

"I don't understand. Why would he have another son?" he looked up at her with tears still in his eyes.

"Oh, Alfie, I'm so sorry." the way she looked at him made Alfred think something.

"Aunty... did you know?" he asked slowly, watching her every movement suspiciously.

For a second Liz didn't reply. She fiddled with her hands in her lap before looking back up at Alfred.

"Alfred, what I'm going to tell you, I need you to be grown up and listen carefully and try to understand okay?" she met his gaze and waited for him to nod before she continued. "For a while now your parents haven't been getting along. Your mother has struggled with your fathers distance. He has worked hard to support the both of you but, I think the separation from your mother has been too much for him." she paused to take another sip of her tea. "Now I'm not making excuses for what he's done. I think you will need to talk to him to really understand what's happened, I only know what your mother has confided in me over the years." she cleared her throat. "Now what you heard about your brother, that was all wasn't it? You don't know who he is or anything right?" she clarified seeing Alfred's confusion.

"No. Do _you_ know?"

"I... do, but I will not tell you. It's not my place dear." Alfred nodded in understanding although he wasn't sure how much he really understood about all of this.

"What's going to happen now?" he asked sadly.

"Alfred I'm terribly sorry but, I believe your parents are going to get a divorce. I don't know what the future will hold for you and I won't pretend it's going to be easy but Alfred, you mustn't forget that both your mother and father love you." he nodded glumly.

The door to the sitting room creaked slightly and Alfred glanced over towards it but it seemed to be a small breeze catching it. Now that his attention had been diverted they fell into an uncomfortable silence allowing Alfred to brood over everything he had learned that day. apparently this had been going on for a long time and others knew about it before Alfred even got an inkling of the tension running through his family. Could Alfred really not sense these kind of things until they were spelt out to him?

He finished his drink and slice of cake quickly and looked to his Aunt Liz.

"I think I should get home now. My mom doesn't know where I am." he said with a slight smile to show he had cheered up at least a little. "Thanks for, well everything I guess." He got to his feet.

Above them came a crash followed by muffled curses and Peter's cries.

"Oh jeez, what now?" Aunt Liz mumbled to herself as she jumped up and set her tea down before racing for the stairs with Alfred on her heels.

They ran up the stairs and into Peter's room where Arthur was crouched over a stack of boxed trying to stuff toys back into them and trying to hush a bawling Peter who sat beside him and who was constantly reaching out for one of the toys Arthur was shoving away.

"Arthur! What did you do?" his mother scolded loudly looking down at the scene with a sigh of exasperation.

Arthur looked over his shoulder at his mother. "I, uh, came to check on Pete and, uh, he wanted to play so I was just going to get that weird goat toy he loves from the boxes, but I guess I knocked them over?" he suggested.

Alfred snickered at the obvious lie. Arthur shot him a glare lacking any heat briefly.

"What, you mean the one toy we agreed we _wouldn't _pack away exactly _because_ it was Peter's favourite?" Liz asked, her hands on her hips and an eyebrow raised. The similarity to Arthur made Alfred snigger even more.

Arthur blushed and muttered something like, "Oh, yeah. I remember now."

"Hmm. Next time you linger at doors Arthur, remember to watch out and make sure the room you use to hide in is _tidy_ so you don't give yourself away." Arthur blushed and glanced at Alfred guiltily but Alfred didn't quite understand what she had meant so he merely blinked back at Arthur.

"Alfred dear, are you coming?" Liz asked as she turned to head back down the stairs.

"Nah, I'll help Arthur clean up." he glanced up at her to see her small shrug of reply as she descended the stairs.

Arthur pulled his gaze away from Alfred and turned back to the mess he had made. Alfred stepped past him to pick up the little stuffed goat and offered it to Peter in an attempt to quiet the little boy. When he turned back to Arthur he saw a pair of red ears peeking through his almost yellow blonde hair. Arthur glanced up shortly to give him a tentative smile.

"Err, thanks for helping." he said looking down at the last upturned box that was left to re-pack.

Without answering Alfred crouched down opposite the older boy and began trying to slot the assorted toys back into some kind of order. When they finished he fell back onto his bottom and looked over at Arthur who had mirrored him and now sat looking across at him whilst resting back on his hands.

Alfred looked away and it was only then that he realised this room was also very bare. It was almost as if all of Peter's possessions had been packed away into these cardboard boxes. Slowly, that nagging feeling from earlier began to grow.

Arthur watched him carefully trying to seem relaxed. Alfred looked back at him, a faint feeling of panic beginning to settle in his stomach.

"Arthur, what are they for?" he asked nodding at the boxes they had just finished clearing up.

"For keeping stuff in." Arthur replied glancing quickly at the boxes indicated.

"Right. So why are you guys using them?" he asked annoyed by the dodge.

"To keep all the stuff together in one place." another dodge.

"Arthur," Alfred warned beginning to get really annoyed now, "why is all your stuff being packed away?"

Arthur looked away. He got up without answering Alfred's question.

"Hey!" Alfred sprung to his feet and grabbed the back of Arthur's shirt before he could leave the room. "Don't ignore me!"

"We're moving." he said it clearly without even looking at Alfred.

"Moving? I don't get it." Alfred asked again just to be sure after a long pause. He must have heard Arthur wrong.

"That's what I said. Moving away, leaving, getting a new house somewhere else." he sounded so cold and indifferent. Alfred shook slightly.

"Weren't you going to tell me?"

"...No." Alfred let go of his shirt and stepped back but Arthur made no move to leave.

"But... but I thought we were, friends." Arthur stiffened.

"Friends? After not speaking to me for almost three whole years you still say that?" he demanded turning to face Alfred. He was shocked to see the pain written so plainly on Arthur's face.

"I forgave you. So that means we're friends right?" they looked at each other until Arthur smiled slightly, it didn't reach his eyes.

"Right. Friends."

"When are you leaving?" Alfred looked up at Arthur.

"This weekend." that was only three days away.

"Are you leaving because of what they said?" he asked referring to all the whispers about Arthur that had spread down the street like wildfire.

"I can't stay here. Mum agrees, she says we need a fresh start so we're moving to London. My brother helped us get an apartment for the three of us and we'll get to see him and the others more often since they all live there and go to uni there as well. It'll be better there." Arthur seemed to be convincing himself just as much as he was trying to reassure Alfred.

"So, I won't see you anymore?" Why did that hurt so much when just the other month Alfred hadn't cared if Arthur disappeared entirely? After all London wasn't too far away, it was still in England after all. They would still be in the same country, they could meet up sometimes. Maybe they would have to wait for Alfred to grow up a bit considering his mother's behaviour right now but that wouldn't be too long. "You won't forget me, will you?"

"Of course not!" was the instant reply that only somewhat relived the pain Alfred could feel.

Impulsively Alfred leaped forward and wrapped his arms around Arthur's waist. For a second Alfred stood still in surprise before returning the hug. Alfred squeezed him tightly and buried his face in Arthur's chest.

"D'you promise?" he asked feeling incredibly small and young.

"Promise." Arthur said solemnly.

* * *

He stayed another hour, sitting and talking with Arthur until it grew dark outside and he was reminded by his Aunt Liz that he needed to get back home to his mom who didn't know where he was.

He made his way back in the dusk and waved back at Arthur, Peter and Liz as they called goodbye from their front door. As he approached his own front door, Alfred slowed. The light in his parents room was on and he supposed his mother had barricaded herself in there after the shouting match she had with his dad over the phone. Taking a deep breath Alfred stepped forward and pulled open the front door.

He stopped as he stepped over the thresh hold. He came face to face with his father as he stood up straight lifting his bags that had been left for him.

"Alfred." he sounded just as shocked as Alfred did to be confronted with each other.

"Dad?"

They stood awkwardly facing each other. His dad set down his bags for a second and scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"Where are you going to go?" Alfred finally asked, surprising himself with how unaffected he sounded by it all.

"What has your mother told y-"

"Nothing. I overheard you two on the phone this afternoon." Alfred interrupted looking away and behind himself to avoid looking at this strange man who was his father. It was then that he noticed the car idling on the road at the end of their lawn.

"Ah. Well, I'm sorry you had to find out like that." he trailed off awkwardly and Alfred returned his attention to him.

"You're _sorry_?" he asked incredulously. Behind him a car door opened and closed.

"It sounds stupid and callous but I have my reasons Alfred. I'll come by to visit soon so we can have a proper chat but for now I need to go." he picked up his bags once more.

"Dad?" a quiet voice called behind Alfred. "What are you doing?"

Alfred heard the boy call out to his father. He turned to see his brother.

"...Mattie?" his voice shook. No way, not... not _Matthew_?

The best friends met each others gaze. Alfred's was full of shock and Matthew's guilt.

"Come on son." his dad walked past Alfred and took Matthew's hand to lead him back towards the car before turning back to call out to Alfred halfway, "I'll see you soon, okay Alfie?"

Alfred snapped.

"Don't _bloody_ well bother you _bastard_!" he screamed at the top of his voice. "I hate you _both_! Mattie you're the worst, I hate you!" he reached to his side and grabbed anything available to him to throw at them.

Alfred began running after them into the dark as they hurried into the car still wielding whatever it was that he had grabbed from his house. Looking down at his hand once the car had driven off down the road he saw it was a model of some kind he had made back in year 3 for Art class that his dad had praised him for. Matthew had sat next to him whilst he had made it like they did in almost every class. Had Matthew known then? Had he known all along and never told Alfred? Had he laughed behind his back whilst he hung out with his, their, dad. Is that where his father had disappeared to every weekend that Alfred didn't see him, to visit Matthew and his mom? His other family, the one he chose over Alfred and his mother?

Wasn't he ever good enough for people to stick around for?

He screamed his frustration once again and smashed the clay model on the ground before running into his house.

**Hmm, another long chapter (for me at any rate) although I dislike it. The ending is not so bad I suppose but I'm not so sure about the rest but there it is. :)**

**Thank you for the reviews :) I am sorry this upload was later than I normally do but I have been excruciatingly busy, and is it just me or do I sound annoyingly British... I'm leaving now :(**


	6. Chapter 6

The weekend came and so did the movers. Alfred watched from his front window as Arthur and his mother loaded the last boxes of their lives in that road, into the back of a rented van assisted by the driver and watched by Peter from the front lawn. Alfred's mother stood behind him, leaning against the door frame just watching him silently as he pushed against the window sill to see better.

When the last boxes had been packed and tied down in that van Arthur's family climbed into their little car. Alfred so wanted to just push past his silent mother and run over to them before they drove off. He had to make do with the fact that last night Arthur had braved Alfred's mother to give Alfred his new address and number so Alfred could contact him. Arthur needn't have worried though, Alfred's mother had spent the past few days in a silent rage alone in her room, only coming down the stairs to grab a new bottle and the occasional snack as sustenance. She didn't even notice Alfred sitting at the kitchen table nursing burns from his attempt at cooking his own meals in the evening (it wasn't that Alfred couldn't cook, he could, it was just because he was so distracted by his thoughts and the slightest noise from upstairs that he wouldn't be paying proper attention to what he was doing and often made stupid mistakes).

When Arthur had knocked on the door with the small slip of paper grasped in his shaking hands the previous evening, Alfred had answered the door warily. He was still expecting his father to come and see him even after he had screamed at him not to bother. When their eyes met there had been a slight pause, neither entirely sure how to interact together. Every time they had met recently had been under strained and bizarre situations, so now that they had come face to face in an attempt at casual conversation they found themselves floundering.

"Uh, hi." Arthur started and cut off awkwardly.

"Yeah hi." Alfred greeted in return. A silence followed. "D'you wanna come in?" he offered.

"Well I only came to give you this," he waved the paper slightly extending it in front of him with a mildly frightened look on his face.

Alfred took the piece of paper and looked down to read it. Arthur rocked on the balls of his feet whilst he waited for Alfred to speak. When he didn't Arthur tried again at conversation.

"It's so you can, I don't know, call or something if you want. Not that I expect you to of course! Just, if you wanna talk to someone about anything, you know about you mum... or your dad?" he looked expectantly at Alfred as he trailed off.

Alfred felt anger welling up inside him. "Why'd I talk to you about my dad?" he asked quietly. Arthur paled slightly.

"No reason. Just if you want, I can listen you know?" he tried to smile casual but it wavered slightly.

Alfred recalled what Aunt Liz had said the other evening.

"You were listening to me talking with your mom!" he accused hotly. Arthur raised his hands in surrender.

"Hey, I just wanted to say hi but when I got close I heard a bit off what you were talking about and I-"

"Listened at the door instead of minding your own business?" Alfred demanded. Arthur nodded glumly.

Alfred stared at him. He wanted very much to start yelling at Arthur, to scream at him until all the anger he had bottled up would run out and he could finally sit down and maybe even sleep properly without this horrible burning pit in his tummy eating away at all his happy moments. He watched Arthur fidget with his fingers without meeting his eyes and felt that anger rise to the surface. He clenched his hand and felt a sharp fold stab into his palm. He looked down at the paper he still gripped in his hand, a note from Arthur telling him it was okay and he still had someone to talk to even if his mother sat silently in her own world, even though his father had abandoned him, even though his best friend had lied to him and stolen his family. He felt the anger die away instantly as he threw himself forward at Arthur.

He wrapped his arms around the older boy and felt as Arthur lifted his hands out from between them and returned the hug.  
"Thank you for caring." Alfred mumbled, his voice so small he wondered if Arthur had heard it at all.

Arthur had disentangled himself with a small smile after patting Alfred on the back lightly. He declined the second offer from Alfred to come in saying he still had some things to finish off before the movers came and they parted at Alfred's door feeling more comfortable and happier than when they had met.

When Alfred looked up again the Kirklands were already pulling out of their driveway. As they passed by his house the horn blared and Alfred saw both Peter and Arthur waving frantically from the backseat whilst their mother quickly glanced over with a smile before returning her attention to the road.

"Hm, good riddance if you asked me." Alfred's mother sniffed from behind.

"Yeah, well no one did ask you." Alfred snipped as he returned the wave.

Alfred watched them drive around the corner and continued watching for many minutes after they disappeared around it, hoping against hope that they would turn around and come back. When they didn't return Alfred gave a sigh and turned away from the window. His mother had already left and as Alfred wandered into the hallway he heard the front door slam.

* * *

His mother didn't come home until late that night. Alfred had sat waiting for her all evening in the front room and had jumped up when he heard keys clacking against the door as she struggled to find the lock. He ran for the door and yanked it open only for his mother to tumble through and fall against the wall heavily, using it to support herself. There was a strong smell of alcohol on her and in the bag she clutched tightly in her hand Alfred could make out another bottle. His heart fell.

"Hey mom." he greeted.

She blinked bleakly back at him, struggling to focus.

"Alfred?"

"Yeah mom?" he asked as he guided her through into the kitchen and sat her down on one of the chairs.

"s'late," she slurred as he turned away to get her a glass of water, "why you still up?"

"I was waiting to wish you good night." when she didn't take the glass he held out for her Alfred set it on the table next to her elbow where it rested on the wood.

"Hmm, you're still m'sweet Alfie." she smiled blearily.

Alfred looked down at her and felt a little sick. This was the same woman who had looked after him when he was sick, who had nursed his injuries when he came running in with scraped knees and hands crying for her care, and now she sat in front of him huddled up and unable to see straight. She looked so fragile to him and it both made him sad and angry. His dad had left both of them and yes it was hitting his mom hard but, what about Alfred? Did she even care?

She had begun pulling the new bottle out of the bag and set it on the table. Alfred frowned.

"Mom I think you've had enough." he reached for the bottle but she snatched it out of his reach and cradled it to her chest.

"Get off!" she yelled suddenly angry. Now the happiness in her eyes had turned to blind rage when she looked up at him towering over her. "Why don't you just go away an' mind your own business? Yeah, yeah go to bed Alfred. Leave me alone."

Alfred backed off a little hurt by the dismissal when he had only been trying to help her and the sudden mood swing threw him off.

"Mom, you shouldn't drink anymore, have the water I got you and go to bed, okay?" she didn't answer. "Goodnight mom." he whispered before he turned and fled to his bedroom.

When he came down the next morning the glass of water was still on the table. It hadn't been touched and the bottle of wine was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

An entire week passed by with no word from his father. In that time he didn't see Matthew either even though they were in the same form and were in a lot of the same classes. Alfred thought he must have decided not to come into school to avoid Alfred. Not that he cared.

How could Matthew be his brother? Half-brother at any rate. They were the same age, their birthdays only separated by three measly days. The thought made him feel sick; his father had been married for five years to his mother before he was born and yet he had conceived a second son at the same time as his wife became pregnant with Alfred.

Alfred couldn't stop his mind returning to the look Matthew had sent him when they had met each others eyes as brothers the day his dad left. He had been guilty then when he looked at Alfred and took his dad away from him, had he always known what Alfred was to him? Did he care at all or only pretend to be Alfred's friend to... what? To get close to him? For what purpose? If it was just to drive the blade in deeper when Alfred found out that Matthew was a two-faced rat then he had succeeded. Alfred hated Matthew now, he never wanted to see him again. When Alfred thought back to all those times they had joked together about how similar they looked he wanted to hit something.

When the weekend came, a week after Arthur had moved away, Alfred opened the door and looked up at the face of his father.

For a moment they just stood staring at each other. Alfred looked up into the face of the man who had left him, it was both familiar and oddly strange to him. They shared quite a few features, Alfred's blue eyes and blonde hair came from his father and he didn't doubt that as he grew up he would have more similarities to this man, but at the same time Alfred couldn't see anything of his father in his face. It was confusing and Alfred didn't know what to think.

"Can I come in?" his father finally asked. He really asked to come into his own house.

"No." Alfred shook his head. "Mom wouldn't like that."

"...No you're probably right." he indicated behind him to his car, "do you want to sit in there and talk?"

Alfred agreed and followed his father down front garden and climbed into the front seat of the car. When his father got in next to him in the driver's seat they fell back into uncomfortable silence.

"So, how is your mother?" he asked cautiously.

For a while Alfred didn't answer. What was he supposed to say, she got drunk every night and fell asleep crying? Instead he looked away out the window back at the house that no longer welcomed him as a home should. The silence must have answered his father's question enough for him to ask the next.

"And how are you?"

Another silence, this one carried uninterrupted on as Alfred organised his thoughts before turning back to face his dad.

"I'm tired. Everyday I sit at school and I see where Matthew used to sit and everything just comes back into my head and it won't go away. Why did you... how long was it going on and did Mattie... did he know? Was he fooling me all this time?" Alfred felt tears threaten and he quickly scuffed the back of his hand over his eyes to wipe them away before they could fall.

When his eyes were no longer blurring his vision, Alfred could see his father staring up the road and he knew if he followed his gaze it would land on Matthew's house further up the street.

"I married your mother long before I met Diane, Ms Williams that is." he started slowly as if he was getting his thoughts in order. "We met in Canada before your mother and I moved to England. I was on a business trip and I was feeling awful, we had just been told it was unlikely we would ever have kids. Diane was running the lodge I was staying at, she comforted me in the evenings when I would get drunk and spill out my heartache and the next morning she would check to see how I was after. I fell in love with how caring she was but nothing happened. I was there for a week before I returned to your mother. We didn't stay in contact."

He paused for a second as Alfred digested this information. He had known of their troubles of conception, they had explained it to him when he was first old enough to ask why he didn't have a little brother or sister to play with.

"I got a transfer to England a few years later, we moved here and for many week I didn't even know we now lived on the same street. One day Miss Kirkland threw us a 'welcome to the neighbourhood' kind of party, all the families got together for a barbecue so we could meet and get to know people. Your mother easily chatted to anyone who came up to her, she always was the friendly and social one of the two of us. I stood on the sidelines watching until Diane approached me and re introduced herself. I recognised her immediately of course, I never forgot her." he smiled slightly.

"So then what? You just thought it was okay now since you lived so close and you 'loved' her that you went and slept with her behind mom's back?" Alfred asked harshly, annoyed by how little his dad seemed to care about how much he had hurt their family.

"No. I didn't start sleeping with her. We became friends."

Alfred scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Alfred, I don't think you realise how unhappy your mother and I were together. She was angry that we couldn't have a family, she was constantly jealous of her friends and she took it out on me."

"I know. I heard the arguments." Alfred whispered quietly, thinking back to all those times he had hidden beneath his covers late in the night when he was young and had been woken by the loud voices downstairs.

"It was a mistake at first. Neither of us meant it. Your mother asked for a divorce so I walked out one evening. I went straight to Diane and we spent hours talking, I got angry and vented on her then I kissed her. It escalated after that and the next morning we felt awful. I stayed with her for a few weeks and it never happened again but then your mother came around. She was ecstatic, she had found out she was pregnant with you and begged me to go back to her. I was torn, on the one hand I wanted to be happy and I no longer loved your mother the same way I used to, I knew I could be happy with Diane though but on the other hand I couldn't just abandon your mother, I couldn't abandon you."

He stopped and looked at Alfred with a small sad smile and gripped his knee. Alfred turned away with a lump in his throat. He nodded to show he heard.

"I moved back in with your mother. I cared for her, I helped prepare for your arrival, life went back to almost normal and I was happy. Then Diane called me in tears. She had also fallen pregnant, she was now expecting Matthew and once again I was torn, which family do I abandon? Who will be left without a dad?

"We talked it over, I agreed to help support Diane and Matthew but stay with you and your mom. I visited them as often as I could without raising suspicion and took on extra shifts at work for extra money."

"So, mom didn't know about your second family?" Alfred asked.

"No, she didn't know until a couple of years ago. I think she must have figured it out when she saw how similar the two of you look and connected it to the time I spent with Diane." his father replied sadly.

"Did Matthew know?"

"No. I never told him. I was so happy to see you two become friends, I'd hoped you could still get on even if I had kept you apart, though I won't lie, it scared me to think of the two of you together. I don't know what I would have done if you worked it out before I could tell you. When your mother finally called it off I told Matthew everything. Until then he had no idea."

For a while they sat in silence. Alfred was thinking over everything he had just found out and was trying to sort it all out in his mind. So Matthew hadn't been going behind his back all these years, he had found out only a little while before Alfred himself had. Did this mean Alfred could forgive him? Could they still be friends? Probably not. Not now at least, after all, their dad had chosen to go with Matthew and leave Alfred behind with his mother. In the end Alfred had been the one left without a father to rely on.

"So what now?" he asked finally. A small ray of hope still clung to his heart that his dad would take it all back and come home with him, that he would sort it all out with his wife and they could go back to being the happy family Alfred could remember from his early childhood.

"... I'm moving. To Canada, back to Diane's lodge, with her and Matthew. We're going to start our new life over there and, Al... I want you to come with us. I want us to be a family." when Alfred met his father's eyes he saw a tentative hope in his gaze.

"What about mom?" he asked.

"I know this is hard Al but, she isn't well. I don't think she'll be able to look after you properly. I mean, just look at how she has handled herself this past week. It will be better for you in Canada with us, we can give you the family you need. Please Al." his frown deepened before fading as he begged his son.

"So you want me to just abandon her?" Alfred asked incredulously. "After all that you've done, after you've left her you want me to do the same? Just pack up and never see her again?"

"Al..."

"No, save it! I won't leave her, she needs me. She needs us! Why do you have to ruin everything? I hate you!" Alfred started yelling. It got louder and louder in the cramped space until Alfred felt like he would explode from the pressure.

He turned away and ran back up to the house. Behind him he could hear the slam of a car door and rushed footsteps as his dad chased after him. Alfred ripped the door open and whipped around to face the red-faced man.

"I won't go jerk. I'm staying here, with my mom. I don't care if I never see you again." and he slammed the door in his father's face before he could reply.

Through the door Alfred could still hear him as he called out, "We're leaving in two days Alfred, eight o'clock Monday, that's when a taxi will be here to take us to the airport. If you change your mind, please come over. I'll sort everything out for you; the plane ticket, luggage, your mother. So please, just think about it Alfie." a slight pause before Alfred heard a quiet curse and a soft, "I love you. Don't forget that." before the feet trudged back to the car and it drove off.

Alfred slid down against the door, too upset to move, and began to cry. His sobs echoed dully in the silence of his home. Above him a floorboard creaked as his mother moved from her bedroom to the bathroom. Alfred bit his lip to stifle the cries so she wouldn't hear. He wasn't even sure if she would come to see what was wrong if she could hear him.

* * *

Two days later Alfred stood at his front door and watched as his father and brother got in a taxi and drove off to start their new life, leaving Alfred behind to pick up the pieces of his life that they had left behind.

**Hi, new chapter :) I feel really bad, I've given them such awful lives... why am I such a depressing person? :(**

**Could you guys give some advice? I don't know whether to bump this up to an M rating because of some of the subject matter ie, Alfred's mom's alcohol abuse/addiction/use (and the fact I keep putting in swears before thinking twice about it). Is there any point or is it ok as it is?**

**Anyway yeah, so thanks for reading and the reviews, they make me so happy! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

_Dear Alfie,_  
_I'm glad to hear all's going well. Have you had any thoughts about what you're going to do next month? I still can't believe how old you've gotten (15, aww the baby's almost all grown up). Mum's asked me to remind you that the offer's still open if you want some free cake, though I understand a trip into the city isn't really a viable option for you. Still, if you want I can come back a few days early and pick you up, I'll get my results online or something._

_Are you still planning to stay for a couple of days this summer? Will you be alright on the floor (not that it matters I'm not giving up my bed for you!)? I'm not sure what kind of things you want to do so make sure you actually think of something before you get here. There is no way I'm playing video games all the time!_  
_Anyway it's good that you made up with your friend, you really shouldn't be so careless considering how few close friends you ever have. You should treasure them more._

_Write back soon (or get a phone already so we can at least text more often),_

_Arthur._

Alfred smiled as he re-read the letter that had arrived a few days ago. He could almost hear how Arthur would sound if he were to say it directly to Alfred. He knew all the places where Arthur's tone would get all sarcastic and teasing before softening or, more likely, become nagging as he reminded Alfred yet again to do some menial task. He barked out a laugh at the mental image of Arthur standing with his hands on his hips, glaring down at Alfred because he still hadn't done what was asked.

Alfred was now in year ten and eagerly awaiting the summer holidays to get a break from all the talk of exams and GCSE'S the teachers and parents seemed intent on drilling into everyone's skulls as another way the world was going to end if they failed or got lower than a D. The prospect of spending part of this summer around Arthur's house in particular was making it harder to concentrate as the days seemed to drag on longer and longer. He hadn't seen Arthur in person since the Christmas after the Kirklands moved. He had been invited to spend the day with them after Arthur had reported back to his mother how bad it was at Alfred's house. That had been four and a half years ago.

Arthur himself didn't really live in the little apartment they had moved into four years ago, he had left for a university in the north of the country after taking a year off studying, to travel. From what Alfred had heard from him in that time through rare letters, Arthur had traveled with Francis in France before trekking across the rest of Europe. Arthur had come back with stories of the people he had met on his travels such as a ditzy Spaniard who was convinced he had known Francis when he was a kid despite the fact that they had lived in different countries and that they had been best friends along with a white haired boy (neither Arthur nor Francis had believed him until they had gotten home and Francis' Dad had pulled out the old family photos from their life in the south of France to show them the picture of a younger Francis with his arms slung over the shoulders of a brown haired, tan boy with a familiar grin and another shockingly pale boy with red eyes and white hair).

Whilst Alfred had enjoyed hearing about the strange and far away places, he had also been jealous of the fact that Arthur went with Francis of all people. He had kind of hoped that following the end of their relationship around the time Arthur moved away, they would stop being friends but apparently nothing of the sort had happened and they spent as much time together as they had before. Of course Arthur denied enjoying his company and asserted that Francis forced it upon him but Alfred was beginning to think that was just how Arthur acted when faced with admitting he was close to people.

That wasn't to say they didn't keep in regular contact. When Arthur returned from his trip the letters came weekly and Alfred sent responses within a few days. Unfortunately they had been restricted to the slower method of communication that was posting letters; Alfred didn't have a mobile as his mother still refused to pay for one and Alfred had the annoying tendency to spend his money on games without thinking about saving up. He also didn't want to risk using the home phone in case his mother overheard and got angry. Alfred was doing his best to stop that from happening.

The 'friend' Arthur had refered to in his most recent letter was actually something Alfred was quite proud of. When he lost his best friend Alfred had been reluctant to let anyone get close to him and was unsure how to approach new friendship groups after they had already formed in the first few weeks of school. Instead he had kept mainly to himself in school, with a few people he felt comfortable chatting with in class and he spent most lunch times on his own in the school library steadily reading his way through any and all books he could find about physics and mechanics. That was were he met Kiku.

Kiku had joined their school at the beginning of year nine. He had moved to England from Japan that summer and although he already knew English, he was very unused to some of the customs of the country and as a naturally withdrawn and quiet person, he had retreated to the library to get away from the noise of the main school. There he had found Alfred huddled up in a corner with his nose crammed into the fold of one of his books and a guilty expression in his eyes as he looked over the top of it at Kiku.

When he realised the boy wasn't the librarian come to tell him off for (yet again) eating in the library, Alfred lowered the book and gave a meek grin as he quickly finished chewing his mouthful and swallowed it. Kiku had smiled back just as tentatively and accepted Alfred's offer to sit beside him in silence. This awkward and mostly silent arrangement went on for weeks until Alfred gave in to Arthur's (nagging) encouragement and started a conversation with the shy boy. In the end Alfred made so much noise as he laughed and joked with Kiku that they had been thrown out of the library. Alfred hadn't cared about losing his safe haven though as he and Kiku laughed together and left to find another spot to spend their lunches.

After that they had become inseparable and had even made a few more friends until the other week.  
Alfred wasn't sure what caused it exactly, only that no matter who he told the story to, they agreed it was mostly his fault. It started as a normal week, they met up at the start of lunch and headed to the room they usual sat in to find Ludwig and Feliciano already there. Alfred didn't really know them and Kiku seemed to treat them with quiet respect still mainly sitting with Alfred when they were together at lunch. As they had sat down Ludwig had nodded to them and Feli had sprung up and run over to give them an overly affectionate greeting in the form of a hug. Alfred had laughed it off and returned the hug and watched as Kiku had a mental breakdown when Feli turned to him.

When they were all settled down in an almost circle there had been a knock at the door. Alfred, who couldn't see the door from where he was sitting and merely saw Kiku's face flush, laughed loudly and called out for Heracles to come in.

"Dude your boyfriend's here to see you again!" he joked.

Kiku had gone even more red and asked Alfred to shut up in a quiet voice, his gaze flicking between Ludwig and Feliciano.

This had sparked a conversation about who the like in their year with Feliciano in the lead. He talked about nothing but girls and pasta dishes it seemed to Alfred. Ludwig had blushed slightly and only stuttered when he was asked to contribute making everyone laugh and poke fun at him but he still couldn't manage a coherent sentence. Heracles, who had sat on the other side of Kiku, smiled slightly and glanced at Kiku. Alfred had seen the look and, without thinking, asked if they were going out.

Kiku had gotten mad. He stood up and started shouting at Alfred, telling him to not think such disgusting things and asking how little he thought about Kiku. Alfred had been stunned and confused, only able to watch in mute shock as Kiku stormed out with Heracles on his heels.

In the silence that followed Alfred had looked at Feliciano and Ludwig.

"I don't get it? What did I say?" he had asked.

Ludwig had rolled his eyes as he responded, "Idiot, don't seriously go around calling people gay. How would you feel if they said that about you?"

"What's wrong with being gay?" he asked lowly, narrowing his eyes at Ludwig. Before the blonde could reply Feli piped up.

"Nothing, I think it's nice they like each other don't you think so Luddy?"

Neither Ludwig nor Alfred had responded to this. Ludwig had blushed again and looked away whilst Alfred was thinking about how some people still viewed gays, it worried him that this was the response his best friend had towards it. Had he honestly offended Kiku? He wondered what Kiku would say if Alfred told him...

It had taken almost a week for Alfred to hunt Kiku down again. Every time the Japanese boy had seen him coming he had turned away and walked off in a huff. In the end Alfred had to get Heracles to convince Kiku to listen to his apology. Now they were friends again but it kept getting a bit awkward as they both hesitated over what was okay to say and what was going too far in a joke.

Sitting up from his bed, Alfred grabbed a sheet of paper off his desk and started to write his reply to Arthur.

_Dear Arthur,_  
_Yo wassup dude! You know I would get a phone if I could, they aren't cheap you know! Besides I know you prefer getting letters because you're weird like that! Half the time you complain about my writing but then when I type my letters you give me short little pissed off replies._

_We're all good now. My friend accepted my apologies so it's cool. I still don't get what it was I did, we always kid around like that so I don't get why he snapped. Whatever. And I do so treasure my friends, I still put up with you don't I? (that's a joke btw!)_

_I'm not a baby dude, you need to stop treating me like one. Free cake sounds nice and you know how much I love Aunt Liz's cooking (you should really get some tips from her you know) but I think mom's doing something with me. Well maybe not but I still want to spend my b-day with her anyway. And don't worry about this summer I already sorted it out with Liz. She said you could take me on a tour of London (not that I'm against video games all the time but people seem intent on getting me outside more often idky)._

_We learnt about forces today in class. Boring! I already knew about that since I'm so smart. I spent the entire lesson doodling Star Wars pics. Haha, feel the FORCE get it? I'm hilarious!_

_I can't wait to see you again!_

_Alfie :D_

He grinned as he added the little smiley face to the end. He knew Arthur would roll his eyes and most likely berate him about his misuse of the English language and tell him off for using an emoticon in a letter but that kind of thing was always easy to ignore from Arthur. He didn't even really expect Alfred to listen at this point anyway, it was more of an inside joke for the two of them.

Alfred reached over to the stack of envelopes he kept in his room on his desk and then got up and grabbed his little green box. He had bought it a couple of years back when he had seen it in the Post office, the bright colour had reminded him of Arthur and Alfred decided he could use it to keep important little things in, like Arthur's letters and the note with his address and number on, to keep it safe from the prying eyes of his mother. He kept the box hidden under his bed behind some old shoe boxes he had had since he was a kid (his father had given them to him so he could store bits and bobs in like his shell and stone collection) so that it was well hidden if his mom ever decided to come in with a hoover like she used to do.

He wrote the address with only a few quick references to the old note and sealed the envelope. It was late now so Alfred would post it tomorrow morning on his way to school. There was a post box at the corner of the road he often used to post his letters to Arthur. He had long since gotten over the fear that his mother was watching him from the window. Instead he stuck the letter in his school bag and headed down the stairs to make himself some dinner.

When he got to the bottom of the stairs he paused. His mother was in the sitting room with the television on full blast. That meant she didn't want to see him today either. He shrugged, too used to it to care anymore, and went straight for the kitchen.

**A short, kinda happy (for me at least) chapter where nothing much happened. Again... or did it? D: Not really no.**

**Thank you everyone who answered me about rating. I'm going to go with the majority and keep it T you guys were incredibly helpful though so thanks!**

**Also thank you for the lovely reviews they made me laugh, cry, be strange (that happens anyway though so never mind). And dearest 'Red' I have no idea why you would want it, but you may 'steal' the sweet analogy. Thank you for reviewing :D  
**


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